Searching for Sasquatch in Sussex

New Jersey is home to many large mammals.

Mules are also large New Jersey mammals.

Is the muckland Sasquatch habitat?

Ruins in Warren County, near Sasquatch territory??

     According to the Sasquatch hunters on TVs Animal Planet, New Jersey is the best place on the East Coast for a Sasquatch sighting.

     They claim it's because there is excellent habitat for large mammals. Not so much the pastures for the large prey animals, above, but for large predatory mammals like black bear. Since, according to them, Sasquatch is a large predator, he is likely to live in the same type of habitat.

     That's the claim of the Sasquatch hunters. 

     People with a firmer grip on reality believe New Jersey not only provides an excellent habitat for bears, it provides an excellent habitat for sarcasm. New Jerseyans are experts at deflecting snarky commentary. We get the "Sopranos" references, the "Jersey Shore" cracks, the "what Exit?" jokes. Think about what a treat it is to dish it to somebody else. To have these "Sasquatch hunters" come into the state looking for stories of sightings is like a gift from above. 

     You would think they would have had a clue from the fact the only professional sports team in the state has as its mascot a mythological creature. But, apparently not. They are, after all, Sasquatch hunters.

     So, the Animal Planet Bigfoot Patrol appeared in Sussex County, at a bar in Fredon Township called The Fountain House. A historic building with a liquor license. Perfect. Especially the part about the liquor license. 

    They got the requisite number of Sasquatch stories, including one from "Aunt Ida" who saw one while coon hunting with her paw many years ago. And some guys who said they saw one in broad daylight near a condo complex, walking that typical Sasquatch walk, long strides, swinging its gorilla-like arms, turning its head just once to check out the observers. Apparently, that's the only way a drunk in a Sasquatch suit can walk.

     We can only hope the Sasquatch hunters put a little money into the Sussex County economy while they were here. They didn't cause any problems. We don't embarrass easily and do just love to pull one over on out-of-staters. We used to tell the city kids chocolate milk came from Brown Swiss cows. This is just more of the same thing. 

   So, thanks for coming, fellas. We'll call again when we need a laugh.